This is my first official blog entry. The word doubt has been on my mind a lot lately. So I would like to take a few minutes to discuss this word. I hope you enjoy!
I have heard it said that when you have doubts about something then it must not be real. Well when my wife and I were dating, I doubted. I did not doubt her commitment to me or her commitment to the Lord. I doubted, "Is this "the one" for me?" "And everyone around me kept saying, if you have doubts then back out." "If you are not 100% sure then this can't be your Eve." Cause apparently doubting is out of the question when making an eternal covenant for life with God and everyone else at the wedding... (only a "hint" of sarcasm there). Well after receiving that awful advice, I looked to the Words of God, spent time in prayer, and sought out Godly wisdom and that is when I realized doubt is not always bad. Doubt sometimes means you realize the depth and magnitude of the upcoming decision. Or you recognize that "but by the grace of God" you could not do the things you do. Whether it be your feelings toward someone, your faith in God, or your confidence in yourself, doubt does not always indicate a demise. At least I hope not. If doubting means it is time to call it quits then, God doesn't exist, I don't love my wife, I am the worst student pastor ever, I am not called to ministry, I have no friends, I can't read good (Well that one is true), and I almost always have a boogar on my face. Thats the truth. I have doubts in all of these areas, but my doubts never change the truth.
As flesh and bones, we sometimes allow the flesh to cause doubts about things that are certainly truth. Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden for example. They doubted God's providence and boy were they wrong. Moses doubted his effectiveness as a leader and representative of the Israelites, again dead wrong. I don't even know where to start with the Israelites in the Old Testament! And the eleven disciples that were left after Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, some of them even doubted that Jesus really was who He is! (Matthew 28:16-17, if you care to check it out). Doubt is NORMAL (and yes I am screaming)! But we must take it serious and not let it take over our minds and hearts. That is when poor decisions are made. What I mean is, its not the end of the world if all the sudden you are not sure. Its okay. Just keep swimming.
How bout we look to one of my favorite hymns of all time for some more understanding here. Come Thou Fount has a phrase that goes, "Prone to wonder, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." We doubt. Thats what we as humans do! And I'm saying thats not always bad. When I had those doubts in my relationship with my, God reminded me that at one point in our relationship, I felt God call us together and THAT was the truth I was to cling to. Not my emotions or feelings. Those change. Those are ever shifting, but as I have come to learn from my wife, love is a decision we make to stick it out despite our feelings, and no matter the opposition. I think that is why the "hymnist" wrote, "I have decided to follow Jesus". Because feeling like following Jesus is sometimes a rare occasion, but deciding to take up your cross daily and follow is a decision (Luke 9:23).
So the next time you have doubts, double check and make sure that it is not just an emotional swing out of fear or lack of feelings, but make certain it is a change of heart or call by God because the difference here is tremendous.
I could be wrong. Let me know what you think.
